Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

Okay so as far as a mom goes, I did the hardest thing ever yesterday. I bought the plane tickets for Jackson and Eric to fly to New York next week. A few months ago, I thought it was too much for my baby (he still only 3) to go 700 miles without his Mommy. He has major separation anxiety without me. So every time Eric approached me about taking him by himself, of course, the answer was "Absolutely not, he's not ready yet". However, about a month ago, we both sat down and asked him if he wanted to go. He said he did and we had to make if perfectly clear that Mommy was not going for the short trip. He still wanted to go. So I agreed with the understanding they would fly because 10 hours in the car just the two of them is way toooooo far. Eric has never driven over more than an hour with him by himself. I do it all the time when I take the kids to Mom's. There is constant stopping to go potty, a lost shoe, changing dvds, etc. Eric has a little bit of a lead foot when it comes to having to drive long distance, and they would have been taking the "tin can" car. Anyway, he is so excited about flying in a big plane. So I started the speaches last night about always holding Daddy's hand in the airport, and that Eric should never turn his back on Jackson in the airport, and I reminded Jackson not to go outside by himself at Grandma and Grandpa's, and for Eric to lock the kitchen door because Jackson could go out to the pool without anyone knowing, and for Jackson to always wear his pool floaties, and no taking Jackson to the shooting range, and please no swimming at camp (which I don't think J would do anyway, J calls lake water "nasty water"). His rule is only swim in water where you can see the bottom. He wouldn't go with Eric at our lake this summer. And when you ride your bike to go close to the road, and don't talk to strangers, and don't stand behind the car, and make sure Daddy is ALWAYS paying attention, oh and have some fun. So many things to be terrified about. I just have to say my prayers everyday and everytime I think of something new to be scared about. Seriously, though, I don't think I have ever fretted about something so much in my life. And I know things could happen with me, but I'm so used to being the one to watch them, my mommy instinct is always in high gear, and I know where they are at all times.

Tonight when I get home, I have a new video of Caroline to post of her wearing Jackson's flip flops, and pics of him in his new soccer shoes that he loves. He is soooo going to be my soccer star. He loves it, as much as his dad says that he hated it. J loves to go outside run and kick the soccer ball around. I think we'll enroll him for soccer next summer.